Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i've created a new STD.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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