I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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