I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
