I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
