You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
