You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
