yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
