Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i think my mom watched the whole time
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
