I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
