dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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