the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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