Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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