I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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