You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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