i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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