We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
