There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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