Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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