You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize