I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
