Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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