The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
