Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
