Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
