if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
