well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
