How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
