In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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