she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
