So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
