A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
