First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
