Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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