In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
