Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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