Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
