and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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