literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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