Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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