hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
