I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
