rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
