Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
