I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He has the fingertips of a God
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