I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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