Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
