I am in a vortex of obligation.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
