it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
