brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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