your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
