How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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